The journey so far

 I've done lots of sitting. I haven't had my surgery for the peritoneal catheter for my stomach yet. That's set for later this month (March 2023). While sitting in the facility to do my dialysis, I can't do anything or go anywhere for 4 hours at a time. When I get my PD, I'll do it at night at home while I sleep; so I have that advantage. While I'm sitting for 4 hours at a time, I play on my phone, crochet, do crossword puzzles, read. 

Most of all, I pray. I talk to God about all the things. How frustrated I am at myself, I ask for healing, i ask for patience, and most of all I praise God for the opportunity to have this life saving treatment. I also praise and thank God for the man that has stood by my side for the last 6 1/2 years. Josh and I will celebrate 7 years in September this year. And if not for him, I'd more than likely have lost my life. He's held my hand through all of this. 

Right now, we've got lots of decisions we're trying to make. One has already been made. I'll be staying with my parents for a small amount of time in order to get myself on track health wise. It's not that Josh can't do that for me. He's the reason I'm alive, like I said. It's just tough for him to work to provide for both of us AND be my caregiver. I mean, I'm quite independent on dialysis. But there are things he has to help with, such as transportation. He's also helped me with everyday activities (ahem, showering) and he's been so patient. I get cranky and ornery!  God bless that man! I know I can be a handful. So we made the decision for me to be with my family for a limited time. My mom, being a retired nurse, will help me with my PD and my diet. My dad is there as a spiritual leader as he always has been my entire life. My sisters are there always and I look forward to watching their kids grow a little bit. 

My favorite part of all of this is that I'm able to actually see things change in the lives of my nieces and nephews in real time instead of just in videos and pictures! I miss that the most! I love my husband very much and I wish he could go with me. However, he will be staying at our home providing for us. He is looking to advance in his job and we'll be making a home for the two of us when I get back. I'll be able to at least get a part time job in the mean time somewhere if not doing craft shows with my crochet projects. If you'd like a scarf or a blanket, let me know. I do commissions! My life so far hasn't been easy. most of it has to do with choices and decisions I've made to make my life harder. All learning experiences. 

I don't like to say that I have regrets, just learning experiences. With that being said, I want you to know that I'm trying to stay positive. Laughing is more fun that crying. Crying is messy, laughing is easy. 

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