Learning a new way

 It's not easy being in the state of health … or lack thereof … that I'm currently experiencing. I've never had to do dialysis before. I always thought that was for poor people. Or those who can't eat normally. Well, here I am. Not eating normally and on dialysis. Am I angry? Yes. At myself. I wasn't taking care of myself. I had the flu twice in the same year, had an upper respiratory infection for 10 months (while being in childcare), experienced COVID-19, and I still wasn't taking care of myself. Not outside of normal visits to the doctor for all the things that I was getting (see illnesses listed above). If not for my wonderful husband, I wouldn't be alive. 

He dragged me kicking and screaming literally to the doctor when I had my upper respiratory infection. I did kick him and I did scream at him. Yet, I still went to the doctor. Now if I'd gotten the help I need sooner, maybe my life would be different. But I digress. Living with the health issues I'm currently experiencing, has given me a new view of what to be grateful for in and around me. Living with the pain is a new normal. 

Between doctor and hospital visits, new prescriptions, meeting new people, and definitely relying on my husband a little more than I ever thought I'd need to at any point in my marriage, I've learned lots of things. But one thing in particular. We have a mighty God and HE is the Ultimate Healer and Physician. There are people on this big blue rock for me to learn from and ask questions. I live in what most people call, the Land of Opportunity. And that, right there, gives me a huge soap box to stand on. Will I use it? Maybe next time. 

I've been blessed beyond measure with family, friends, and most of all, a risen Savior. In service to Him, I will be able to do more and more as I am able. My life is not what I thought I'd be doing. Working in foster care, living in west Texas. I'm just happy to be alive at this point! And God bless the man I married! For without his love of Jesus, I'd be stuck.

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