How do I know?

 How do I know where to start? My depression has won on several occasions. There are lots of times I don't feel like doing anything around the house. Doing the dishes takes hours. It took me 3-4 hours just to finish washing the dishes. I have to do it by hand and it took forever. If there was an automatic dishwasher, it'd be different. Doing it by hand, it takes a long time. Here's why it's hard to start. My brain tells me I'm not doing it right. That's where the depression and anxiety lies to me. Doing it is not the hard part. Starting it is the hard part. I don't know where to start. Finishing is easy, as long as I start.


Cleaning isn't hard. It's really not. How do I know that I'll be okay? And you're probably wondering how I have anxiety and depression because I'm a Christian. Listen! I'm a human being. Therefore, I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that gives me mental health issues. So don't believe that since I'm a Christian, that makes me less human. As a Christian, I have Jesus Christ in my heart. But as I said, I'm still a human being. I have health issues, I have a brain, and I'm able to have issues. 

I don't believe it's fair that I'm told that I can't judge because the Bible says not to judge (which is true), but I'm being judged just as harshly. How do I know I can make a difference in any conversation? You have already judged me by knowing that I'm a member of the Church of Christ, and you've not given me the chance to show you or talk to you about who I am. I guess my biggest concern or whatever it is, is that people just get mad that I say I'm a Christian and I'm already pigeon holed into a group that you have made up your mind about. And that's not fair because you don't want me to do that to you! Do you? No of course not! So give me a break!

How do I know I'll be okay? I mean someone can tell me I'll be okay, but that doesn't mean my brain believes it. 

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