tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53752634662729001402024-03-08T02:54:33.118-06:00The Story of UsLife in the last 10 years or so. I hope this is a learning experience for you. I'd rather know that I've helped at least one person in any situation that is similar to something I've written about here. Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-88910330861229603362024-02-27T15:37:00.002-06:002024-02-27T15:53:46.190-06:00How do I know?<p> How do I know where to start? My depression has won on several occasions. There are lots of times I don't feel like doing anything around the house. Doing the dishes takes hours. It took me 3-4 hours just to finish washing the dishes. I have to do it by hand and it took forever. If there was an automatic dishwasher, it'd be different. Doing it by hand, it takes a long time. Here's why it's hard to start. My brain tells me I'm not doing it right. That's where the depression and anxiety lies to me. Doing it is not the hard part. Starting it is the hard part. I don't know where to start. Finishing is easy, as long as I start.</p><p><br /></p><p>Cleaning isn't hard. It's really not. How do I know that I'll be okay? And you're probably wondering how I have anxiety and depression because I'm a Christian. Listen! I'm a human being. Therefore, I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that gives me mental health issues. So don't believe that since I'm a Christian, that makes me less human. As a Christian, I have Jesus Christ in my heart. But as I said, I'm still a human being. I have health issues, I have a brain, and I'm able to have issues. </p><p>I don't believe it's fair that I'm told that I can't judge because the Bible says not to judge (which is true), but I'm being judged just as harshly. How do I know I can make a difference in any conversation? You have already judged me by knowing that I'm a member of the Church of Christ, and you've not given me the chance to show you or talk to you about who I am. I guess my biggest concern or whatever it is, is that people just get mad that I say I'm a Christian and I'm already pigeon holed into a group that you have made up your mind about. And that's not fair because you don't want me to do that to you! Do you? No of course not! So give me a break!</p><p>How do I know I'll be okay? I mean someone can tell me I'll be okay, but that doesn't mean my brain believes it. </p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-20101550246834657802024-01-23T15:20:00.002-06:002024-01-23T15:20:26.823-06:00Try as I might...<p> Try as I might, I can't seem to get these feelings of hurt out of me. Okay, what hurt? It's not from my husband or anyone in particular. I'm hurting from feeling complacent. Hear me out. I'm not sure where to start in my mission to help those around me. I've been praying and trying to think of ways to help those who need help. My husband and I bought dinner for a homeless man a couple of weeks ago. If we'd had the space, I would've suggested he stay the night with us because it gets cold where I live. I mean COLD!! Freezing temps at night. And I know that there are not a lot of shelters that are willing to have people do the standing-room-only thing. That becomes a fire hazard. </p><p>The husband and I have some lofty dreams about how to help those in need. We would like to own a place that allows for certain things to be bought and sold for those who like to hunt. And on my side of it, it would be more for those who like to craft with yarn (knit, crochet, tatting, etc.) and we were going to combine the two. Have sitting areas to work on projects, drink coffee, have a small pastry or two, and just enjoy the company of those who enjoy the same hobbies. While owning this store/small bakery, we would employ those in need of a job. We'd expect those we're helping to move on to bigger and better things. Such as finishing an education, owning their own home, getting better jobs, etc. However, all of this takes time and money. One of which is what I have. With all my medical appointments and my medical fragility, I have a lot of time. </p><p>With all of that being said, my prayer (our prayer really) is that we do it slowly and legally. Lots of red tape like insurance, location(s), people... all the things. So try as I might, I'm hurting. I don't like being complacent in my faith. I want to help others because lots of others have helped me. Any ideas? Thank you very much in advance. </p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-7646161502411432942024-01-02T15:24:00.002-06:002024-01-02T15:24:22.324-06:00Is it really a new beginning?<p> It's the beginning of a new year and everyone is doing new resolutions. Will anyone stick to them? Some will, some won't. It's par for the course. As I am trying to lose weight to get on a transplant list, my concern for other health issues pops up. </p><p>In all my time earth side, I have never known God to let me down. There have been moments in my life I believed hard core that my faith was shaken and that's normal. I don't feel that I have regrets, only learning experiences. Having regrets means I'm not keeping my faith in God. At least that's my take on it. I've had lots of opportunity to feel regret and I did sit and wallow for about a minute. However, the Lord put people in my life to help me along in my troubled seas. And when I got through the fog, I saw the sunshine and realized that my choices in where to sit. I'd like to believe that when I get to heaven, I'll have endless Dr. Pepper, endless yarn, and know how to make every pattern ever written. Will that happen? I have no idea. More importantly, I'll see Jesus [Christ] and that is the ultimate goal! </p><p>I'm looking forward to my ultimate goal. Along the way, I have other goals. Losing weight in order to find a donor, living a life of service to the Lord, and having the simple things in life. I'd rather live simply and serve others while serving God than to have too much of anything. Is it really a new beginning though just because it's a new year? I'll give you that yes, it is a new beginning! But what kind of new beginning? Your weight loss journey? The adoption process or a new marriage?? Or even a new baby? Praise God in all of those things!! </p><p>I've had quite the last 11-12 months. Hospital stays, dialysis, oxygen therapy, weight loss, blood draws/infusions, and a laundry list more. Do I have regrets? Nope. Should I have taken care of myself to prevent these things? Yep. Did I need this wake up call? Of course. Would I change it? Not a chance. So where is my new beginning? Well that depends on your perspective. Is it when dialysis started? Is it when I get a new kidney? Who knows!! I'm just praising God and thanking Him for the chance at any type of treatment right now. I praise God from Whom all blessings flow! And without Him putting my family, my husband, and my treatment team in my life, I'd surely be at the pearly gates right now. Where is your new beginning? Do you need a friend to help you stay the course and live accountably? I'll gladly fill that role for you as long as you can help me as well. Okay love you bye!</p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-53323268866709985592023-10-20T15:33:00.002-05:002024-01-02T16:08:04.287-06:00To whom it may concernTo whom it may concern,<div><span> </span><span> </span><br /></div><div><span><span> </span><span> It's taken me years to figure out what to say to you. Will you please just keep reading? I've also taken days to figure out what to write here. I would like to make these points to you and I would like you to at least give me the opportunity to do so. I know why you're still mad at me. I broke your heart and somehow, broke a promise. If the first part is wrong, then I apologize profusely. I've tried apologizing to you in prior years. Somehow it didn't work. I've grieved you and I can't believe that the person I grieved you to, became who they are currently (that's for another day). I have a couple (a few?) reasons as to why I'm writing to you. We've known each other over 20 years; maybe 25-30 years. Okay, on to the reasons. You have no reason to be that upset at me. You say I broke a promise. Okay. I did. I acknowledge that and take full responsibility for it. Do you remember January of your senior year? You took me to the military ball. You told me your grandfather was so proud of that picture that we took; you even put it in his casket. Do you remember that night for real? We were in the limo and you made me a promise. You told me you'd always be my friend … you'd always be around … and here we are, over 20 years later, and you don't know me. You're not around, you're not my friend. So in the long run, you also broke a promise to me. I could be angry, but I'm not. You also told me you would always love me, no matter what would happen. Again, what happened there? </span><br /></span></div><div>I'm not angry, I'm not bitter. Again, I've already grieved you. I'm just very curious as to why you held me to a standard that you couldn't hold yourself to … I have to keep all my promises, but you don't have to keep yours? I'm also curious to know why you had to move to Canada. I know you've got a wife and kids. I'm currently married and my husband and I have been foster parents. We've had 53 kids in our care so far. Right now I'm in dialysis and on oxygen therapy. You probably don't care. If you don't, okay. Gives me a reason to keep praying. And if I remember correctly, you don't believe in God, but in a Higher Power. I still have the same email address. Yes, I'm still a fan of Creed. That much has not changed. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I'm honestly happy for you that you've got a family and that you've moved forward. I just really would like to know why. Why did you tell me breaking a promise was a huge deal, when you broke yours as well? Why did you make a promise you couldn't keep? I've tried to make amends, apologize, what have you. And somehow you still remained angry, bitter, your adjective here. We're both adults now. We were adults then. You don't have to reply. I just wanted you know how I felt. I'm allowed to feel the way I do. If you don't think so, that's on you. </div><div><span><span>And now that I've made my points, the ball is in your court. Again, my email address has never changed in the last 25-30 years. iluvcreed 4 ever at yahoo</span></span></div><div>Your turn. With Love, Munchkin.</div>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-83387005325497480092023-09-26T12:29:00.003-05:002023-09-26T12:29:53.561-05:00Loving not my child<p>Wait... what? Loving not my child? Melissa, that doesn't make sense. Come on a journey with me please, as I explain what's happening in foster care.</p><p><br /></p><p>Imagine if you will: You're a 13 year old girl and you're the oldest. Your little brother is 5 years old, your little sister is 9 months old. You know that Mom sleeps a lot. And there are a lot of new 'uncles' that come around. A couple of them have done things to you that you have no reason to believe is appropriate for them to do to you, but you've been told that your mommy will die or get hurt if you say anything to anyone about what's happened or happening. One day while you're home from school and Mom is asleep again on the couch, the cops are banging on the door. Mom says not to answer the door to anyone, especially the cops. So you take your brother and sister upstairs to a closet and hide. It's hard to hide when your baby sister won't stop crying because she's hungry and your brother begins to cry out of fear. The closet door opens and a tall person is there. A soothing voice rings out, saying, "It's okay, you're safe now." The cop takes you to his car, gives you and your siblings snacks. Mom is being put into another police car and doesn't even know where you three are at the moment. She looks so sleepy and angry because she had to wake up.</p><p>Fast forward four hours later. My phone rings and it's a case manager. "It's a sibling set of three. A 13 year old girl, a 5 year old boy and a 9 month old baby girl. They'll be here in a matter of minutes." I wake up my husband to let him know what's happening and he gets dressed along side me. I make my way to the office and find the case manager. I ask important details about the case that are necessary information. I have beds made, snacks at the ready, and clothes ready to wear. Moments like this are never really prepared for, but I'd like to think about how much of an impact I can make, even if the child or children are in my care for sheer moments. When you show up with your siblings, you look exhausted, scared, and hungry. I offer my hand to your brother and your baby sister. Both shy away and I use a soothing voice, saying, "You're safe now. It's okay." I have been praying since I picked up the phone from the case manager. Praying that you are going to be okay in my care and you will accept my open home and open arms. Your tear stained face tells me everything I need to know. You're crying tears of relief, but also tears of pain and exhaustion. You miss your mother, yes. However, you're relieved that you can go to school and not have to worry about your siblings eating or getting clean clothes. I show you the rooms your siblings will be sleeping in and when you see your own room, you begin to sob quietly. My husband helps me comfort all 3 of you and when I ask if you're alright, you quietly say that you're so happy to have your own room and your own bed. </p><p>I've had several people ask me how I foster. Or how I have fostered. I will factiously say, "Lots of prayer and lots of chocolate." Prayer has a lot to do with it! The first 3-4 months that my husband and I did foster care, I cried every day. Seriously! Every. Day. My husband, being the supportive and loving man that he is, said that I needed to find a stress reliever. And I did. I found a way to channel my feelings of anger and sadness into taking care of the children in a loving way. We became creative and helped several children in our care become someone they can see themselves being. Going to school, getting tutoring, going to church, playing soccer or basketball (or both), making friends, healing from the trauma, and most importantly, learning about the love of Jesus Christ. </p><p><br /></p><p>thank you for going down this road with me. Until next time... May the Lord bless you and keep you.</p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-60524068330856771272023-08-27T16:45:00.005-05:002023-08-27T16:45:52.005-05:00The same yesterday, today, and forever<p> It's become very blatantly obvious that people don't always understand the Lord. I'm going to say that I'm one of those people. There are things I don't understand about the Lord. I have a point though. Please follow along carefully.</p><h2 class="text-text-light dark:text-text-dark font-bold font-aktiv-grotesk mbe-2" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif, "Open Sans", Lora; font-size: inherit; margin-block-end: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Hebrews 13:8-16 NKJV</h2><p class="text-text-light dark:text-text-dark text-19 md:text-23 leading-default md:leading-comfy font-aktiv-grotesk font-medium mbe-2" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif, "Open Sans", Lora; font-size: 1.4375rem; line-height: 1.1; margin-block-end: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Do not be carried about with various and strange doctrines. For it is good that the heart be established by grace, not with foods which have not profited those who have been occupied with them. We have an altar from which those who serve the tabernacle have no right to eat. For the bodies of those animals, whose blood is brought into the sanctuary by the high priest for sin, are burned outside the camp. Therefore Jesus also, that He might sanctify the people with His own blood, suffered outside the gate. Therefore let us go forth to Him, outside the camp, bearing His reproach. For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come. Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name. But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.</p><p class="text-text-light dark:text-text-dark text-19 md:text-23 leading-default md:leading-comfy font-aktiv-grotesk font-medium mbe-2" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif, "Open Sans", Lora; font-size: 1.4375rem; line-height: 1.1; margin-block-end: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="text-text-light dark:text-text-dark text-19 md:text-23 leading-default md:leading-comfy font-aktiv-grotesk font-medium mbe-2" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif, "Open Sans", Lora; font-size: 1.4375rem; line-height: 1.1; margin-block-end: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">So why do Christians try and change what the Lord is already? Cultures and times change; we all know that's true. The verse speaks of the blood of Christ and the sacrifice He made. Who doesn't want to share the love of Christ? That's a question I've always wanted to know the answer. We don't know when He's coming back. </p><p class="text-text-light dark:text-text-dark text-19 md:text-23 leading-default md:leading-comfy font-aktiv-grotesk font-medium mbe-2" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif, "Open Sans", Lora; font-size: 1.4375rem; line-height: 1.1; margin-block-end: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="text-text-light dark:text-text-dark text-19 md:text-23 leading-default md:leading-comfy font-aktiv-grotesk font-medium mbe-2" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Fira Sans", "Droid Sans", "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif, "Open Sans", Lora; font-size: 1.4375rem; line-height: 1.1; margin-block-end: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">The Lord is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow... and forever. Not sure why people say that the culture is different and they correlate that with the Lord. As true as it is that the culture has changed, the Lord HASN'T changed. Jesus Christ came to perfect the law; not to add to it or change it. What makes no sense to me is that people put the Lord in a box. He's everywhere. He doesn't fit in a box. He's too big. </p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-79556889268722572582023-08-10T16:53:00.001-05:002023-08-10T16:53:31.879-05:00The whole brood of littles<p> So I've got several nieces and nephews. My youngest sister has four (4) young'uns and one (1) on the way. I'll never forget when she finally had a girl and she was so excited! All her kids are hilarious! The little girl is the only girl my youngest sister will ever have. I do wish I could see them more often. But life. And if I could get to know them better, I would. To all of those kids, I've got my own advice for them as well.</p><p>Pick your battles carefully. Your family is always around. No matter what happens, pick up the phone and call your mom. If you're able call your grandparents. You'll never know how much you will miss it until they're gone. How I wish I could tell all of you about Grandmother and Granddaddy Garner and how I wish you could've met them! The memories I have of them are amaing and me telling you about them doesn't do any justice. And in the words of Bob Dylan, </p><p><span face="Roboto, arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-size: 14px;">May God bless and keep you always</span></p><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your wishes all come true</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you always do for others</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And let others do for you</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you build a ladder to the stars</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And climb on every rung</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you grow up to be righteous</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you grow up to be true</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you always know the truth</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And see the light surrounding you</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you always be courageous</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">Stand upright and be strong</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your hands always be busy</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your feet always be swift</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you have a strong foundation</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">When the winds of changes shift</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your heart always be joyful</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your song always be sung</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And may you stay forever young</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span></div><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-78510202430651135492023-05-30T15:12:00.005-05:002023-06-26T12:45:45.884-05:00Whoever little brother wants to be<p> When I found out my sister was having a second child, I was so happy! After the birth of my niece, I knew that I could love another child just the same. We had a gender reveal party to find out what my sister was having the second time around. </p><p>He came out with one dimple in his right cheek. He was completely bald; outside of just peach fuzz. His little head was so perfect! Between the ages of birth to 3 years old, my nephew was the CUTEST baby! And he knew it! We all doted on him and his sister. My youngest sister had a boy as her first child and he's a cutie patootie as well! But that's for another day. </p><p>My first nephew has me wrapped around his little finger and he knows it! He lovingly calls me Aunt Mimi and I love it! He makes everyone laugh because he takes after his daddy. Every child has phrases they say as they grow up and I'll never forget a couple of his.</p><p>The first time I laid eyes on my oldest nephew, I fell in love at first sight all over again! I couldn't help myself. He's sweet and just so handsome. Now as far as advice for him, I've got a few things to tell him. Here goes nothing. </p><p>Don't be afraid to be yourself in any and all situations. Marching to the beat of your own drum leads you to be happier in the long run and helps you worry less about what others think about you. You will always have a place in the world no matter what and I will always be around for you. Don't be afraid to show your emotions no matter the circumstance. Most importantly, look to Jesus before fighting any battles. Also, pick your battles carefully. Jesus will win and has won any war for you. Your fight in any battle will be successful with Jesus Christ at your side. You will always have me at your back along with your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and your sister. Please don't ever forget that I will be around for you whenever you call. Don't forget, child, that you are always loved. You are also fearfully and wonderfully made. The Lord bless you and keep you. May He show His countenance upon you and give you peace. And in the words of Bob Dylan, </p><p><span face="Roboto, arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-size: 14px;">May God bless and keep you always</span></p><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your wishes all come true</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you always do for others</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And let others do for you</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you build a ladder to the stars</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And climb on every rung</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you grow up to be righteous</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you grow up to be true</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you always know the truth</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And see the light surrounding you</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you always be courageous</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">Stand upright and be strong</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your hands always be busy</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your feet always be swift</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you have a strong foundation</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">When the winds of changes shift</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your heart always be joyful</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your song always be sung</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And may you stay forever young</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span></div>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-65410864072273909382023-05-22T14:57:00.001-05:002023-05-30T15:13:09.199-05:00The future of whoever she will be<p>November 2011. My sister and her husband announced her first pregnancy. I was so excited to be an aunt! We found out she was having a girl! </p><p>June 2012. We were all at the hospital waiting for her to make her arrival. My sister was wheeled into surgery to have a C-section and we waited down the hall. All 7 of us waited. Until we heard, from down the hall, a loud baby scream and cry. She was here! All 9 lbs 6 oz and 21 inches of her! </p><p>Her father wheeled her out as her mother was finishing in surgery. One look at her and I believed, at that very moment, in love at first sight. I hadn't ever believed it before seeing her face. What was it about this new child that made me fall in love that fast? She was so beautiful and she still is beautiful! Dimples and all. </p><p>I won't ever forget that moment though! Her sweet chubby cheeks and her swaddled in a blanket. Her mother came out of surgery and we got to talk. She was so happy and exhausted at the same time. I'd never seen my sister so happy... except on her wedding day. She was ecstatic to be a mom! And it suits her to this day. </p><p>If I could say anything to this little girl that I speak of, I'd say this: </p><p>Look to Jesus before fighting any battles. Also, pick your battles carefully. Jesus will win and has won any war for you. Your fight in any battle will be successful with Jesus Christ at your side. You will always have me at your back along with your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and your brother. Please don't ever forget that I will be around for you whenever you call. Don't forget, child, that you are always loved. You are also fearfully and wonderfully made. The Lord bless you and keep you. May He show His countenance upon you and give you peace. And in the words of Bob Dylan, </p><p><span face="Roboto, arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-size: 14px;">May God bless and keep you always</span></p><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your wishes all come true</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you always do for others</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And let others do for you</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you build a ladder to the stars</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And climb on every rung</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you grow up to be righteous</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you grow up to be true</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you always know the truth</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And see the light surrounding you</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you always be courageous</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">Stand upright and be strong</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your hands always be busy</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your feet always be swift</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you have a strong foundation</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">When the winds of changes shift</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your heart always be joyful</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May your song always be sung</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And may you stay forever young</span><br aria-hidden="true" /><span jsname="YS01Ge">May you stay forever young</span></div><p><br /></p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-84262326648540519042023-04-18T12:37:00.000-05:002023-04-18T12:38:52.117-05:00Learning a new way<p> It's not easy being in the state of health … or lack thereof … that I'm currently experiencing. I've never had to do dialysis before. I always thought that was for poor people. Or those who can't eat normally. Well, here I am. Not eating normally and on dialysis. Am I angry? Yes. At myself. I wasn't taking care of myself. I had the flu twice in the same year, had an upper respiratory infection for 10 months (while being in childcare), experienced COVID-19, and I still wasn't taking care of myself. Not outside of normal visits to the doctor for all the things that I was getting (see illnesses listed above). If not for my wonderful husband, I wouldn't be alive. </p><p>He dragged me kicking and screaming literally to the doctor when I had my upper respiratory infection. I did kick him and I did scream at him. Yet, I still went to the doctor. Now if I'd gotten the help I need sooner, maybe my life would be different. But I digress. Living with the health issues I'm currently experiencing, has given me a new view of what to be grateful for in and around me. Living with the pain is a new normal. </p><p>Between doctor and hospital visits, new prescriptions, meeting new people, and definitely relying on my husband a little more than I ever thought I'd need to at any point in my marriage, I've learned lots of things. But one thing in particular. We have a mighty God and HE is the Ultimate Healer and Physician. There are people on this big blue rock for me to learn from and ask questions. I live in what most people call, the Land of Opportunity. And that, right there, gives me a huge soap box to stand on. Will I use it? Maybe next time. </p><p>I've been blessed beyond measure with family, friends, and most of all, a risen Savior. In service to Him, I will be able to do more and more as I am able. My life is not what I thought I'd be doing. Working in foster care, living in west Texas. I'm just happy to be alive at this point! And God bless the man I married! For without his love of Jesus, I'd be stuck.</p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-58733073834160954372023-04-13T13:13:00.003-05:002023-04-13T13:13:44.411-05:00How long must I wait?<p> I've been out of pocket for awhile. I was in the hospital a second time due to some breathing issues and I'm beginning to heal from that. What was wrong with my breathing? Well, a chest tube and 4 liters of fluid later, my left lung is finally clear and I'm able to actually breathe. I don't feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest and I'll be able to get my peritoneal surgery in a week. </p><p><br /></p><p>So what am I waiting for? And how long must I wait? Transplants are in the next one to two years. I never thought I'd ever need a transplant for anything. Seriously. Never in my life did I believe that I would need a transplant. A kidney isn't an easy thing to find. People aren't on the street corners just handing out kidneys. If only it were that easy, right? My family is being tested. I'm fairly certain I'll get one from a family member before I get one from a stranger. Only God knows. Lord willing, I'll find one sooner than later. </p><p>I've had a lot of time to rethink my appreciation for things and people. I'm trying to surround myself with those who are only helping me. Family members, church friends, etc. It's not always easy. My prayer life has changed dramatically in the last few months. I've been praying for those who need it more than me, those who don't want it, and those who know they need it. I know that sounds completely outrageous. However, I don't care how insane it sounds. Praying is the one constant I do have in my life outside of my family and my husband. Josh has been so good to me! He's been a rock and I wouldn't change it for anything. </p><p>He didn't ask for this. When he said in sickness and in health, I'm sure this is not what he bargained for in our vows. However, he's taken that seriously and my sickness has not deterred him in the slightest. Josh is my best friend! I'm very happy that I've married him and I pray he feels the same. </p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-50275387725832955962023-03-07T13:00:00.000-06:002023-03-07T13:00:51.221-06:00The journey so far<p> I've done lots of sitting. I haven't had my surgery for the peritoneal catheter for my stomach yet. That's set for later this month (March 2023). While sitting in the facility to do my dialysis, I can't do anything or go anywhere for 4 hours at a time. When I get my PD, I'll do it at night at home while I sleep; so I have that advantage. While I'm sitting for 4 hours at a time, I play on my phone, crochet, do crossword puzzles, read. </p><p>Most of all, I pray. I talk to God about all the things. How frustrated I am at myself, I ask for healing, i ask for patience, and most of all I praise God for the opportunity to have this life saving treatment. I also praise and thank God for the man that has stood by my side for the last 6 1/2 years. Josh and I will celebrate 7 years in September this year. And if not for him, I'd more than likely have lost my life. He's held my hand through all of this. </p><p>Right now, we've got lots of decisions we're trying to make. One has already been made. I'll be staying with my parents for a small amount of time in order to get myself on track health wise. It's not that Josh can't do that for me. He's the reason I'm alive, like I said. It's just tough for him to work to provide for both of us AND be my caregiver. I mean, I'm quite independent on dialysis. But there are things he has to help with, such as transportation. He's also helped me with everyday activities (ahem, showering) and he's been so patient. I get cranky and ornery! God bless that man! I know I can be a handful. So we made the decision for me to be with my family for a limited time. My mom, being a retired nurse, will help me with my PD and my diet. My dad is there as a spiritual leader as he always has been my entire life. My sisters are there always and I look forward to watching their kids grow a little bit. </p><p>My favorite part of all of this is that I'm able to actually see things change in the lives of my nieces and nephews in real time instead of just in videos and pictures! I miss that the most! I love my husband very much and I wish he could go with me. However, he will be staying at our home providing for us. He is looking to advance in his job and we'll be making a home for the two of us when I get back. I'll be able to at least get a part time job in the mean time somewhere if not doing craft shows with my crochet projects. If you'd like a scarf or a blanket, let me know. I do commissions! My life so far hasn't been easy. most of it has to do with choices and decisions I've made to make my life harder. All learning experiences. </p><p>I don't like to say that I have regrets, just learning experiences. With that being said, I want you to know that I'm trying to stay positive. Laughing is more fun that crying. Crying is messy, laughing is easy. </p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-43599302036859568282023-02-21T17:00:00.001-06:002023-02-21T17:00:57.978-06:00All by myself<p> I was finally able to shower all by myself. I know I'm an adult. After all this time in the hospital and having Josh help me shower, I was able to do it by myself. I was also able to tie my own shoes. It's amazing what is taken for granted as a normal everyday life. Showers, tying shoes, brushing hair. </p><p>There are several things I've done for years on my own without fail. For example, taking a shower. Or even brushing my hair. Why am I talking about that? Well, let me show you. After having a port put in my chest, I had lots to relearn. Like taking a shower. And brushing my hair. </p><p>So what is it about being all by myself that makes it harder? I've depended on Josh to do a lot. He's taken care of me to the inth degree. Helping with housework, doing dishes, tying my shoes, and even helping wash my hair. I asked him why he's helped me so much and his response should not have surprised me. "In sickness and in health; you're sick." If I could tell you why that response surprised me, I would tell you. It just did. I never expected to be on dialysis at this point in my life. At 42 years old, I should be able to just live my life normally. But what is normal really? </p><p>Of course, I say that after working in the foster care system. Normal is one's own perception. My new normal is showering differently, having more help than I expected from Josh, living with medication, and being in and out of the doctors office monthly. I'll be doing it all by myself if necessary. </p><p><br /></p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-31429925501471796902023-02-18T12:39:00.002-06:002023-02-18T12:39:51.399-06:00Time on my hands<p> When in dialysis, I have to sit for four (4) hours with my thoughts. I'm not alone when I do it. There are others getting dialysis in the center with me, but we're kind of in our own worlds. I'm waiting to get my other procedure in order to do dialysis at home. Right now I'm doing outpatient dialysis. Between medications, going to the center, being bored for a few hours, I'm doing really well. </p><p>With the time on my hands, I've been praying a lot. About my treatment, healing of others, money, my marriage, and anything else that crosses my mind. I spend most of my time in dialysis crocheting any project I have going at the moment. With every stitch, comes a prayer. So you'd think in four hours, I'm praying the whole time. I do take a small break in order to rest my arms. Does it seem ridiculous to pray for four solid hours? No. 1 Thess 5:17 says, "Pray without ceasing." Doing it for just four hours is not enough. Since I'm currently at home, I crochet there too. I also clean the house and cook. Okay so this whole thing is about prayer. So what? Maybe that's what you need to hear. Jesus prayed all the time. Matthew 14:23, Luke 3:21, Mark 6:46, Hebrews 5:7, Luke 6:12. The list of verses goes on. </p><p>My escape is crochet and in reality, it's prayer. I will admit that it's hard not to get into a rut of saying the same prayer, with the same attitude. There are moments where I realize this and I change my prayer. It's tough and when I do change it, I notice a change in life. In all aspects of life; my marriage, my job, in general. </p>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5375263466272900140.post-41840006881554247742023-02-17T11:12:00.006-06:002024-01-02T15:26:16.029-06:00In the beginning...February 8, 2023. I woke up at about 3:45 am and Josh was getting ready for work. I cried and told him that something in my gut told me not to go to work that day. I had a doctors appointment and he agreed to take me. He asked that I be ready by 9:45 am to be on time. I agreed and went back to sleep. He arrived at home right on time and woke me up. My first words were, "What are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?" I was confused. I knew I had a doctor appointment but I was wondering why he was at home. <div><br /></div><div>My doctor wanted to see my lab work because I was lethargic, had trouble breathing, and had to have Josh push me in a wheelchair. Walking was difficult without stopping to catch my breath. My lab work came back rather quickly and my doctor wanted me to see the nephrologist the same day. We went to the store and then went home. I sat on the couch and began to fall asleep. The phone rang and I didn't want to answer it. Josh made me answer it. I went to the nephrologist and he gave me my blood work results. </div><div><br /></div><div>My kidney function was at 4%! My oxygen levels were so low that I could hardly keep my eyes open. I was admitted to Covenant Hospital to begin dialysis. Josh was so scared. I was also scared but I'd never seen Josh like that in our entire marriage! He's done nothing but take good care of me over the years of our marriage. After a couple of hours waiting, I finally got into a room at the hospital. I was given lots of information in a short amount of time. What procedures I'd be getting, what my options were, who my doctors were, etc. </div><div><br /></div><div>I spent a week in the hospital and had several visitors. Lots of prayer warriors were and are on my side. I've never been on this side of the medical field. I'm usually the one who visits those in need. It's hard being the one in need. It seems selfish to want and/or need help in any way. I understand that's what the Church is about; to provide help to those in need. But I've never been one in need. I'm thankful for those who have helped and those who are willing to still help! </div><div><br /></div><div>I will say this: I'm thankful for Josh. Without him, I'd probably be visiting the gates of heaven right now. And I love him more and more every day! </div>Melissa B. Witthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17251917864395783973noreply@blogger.com0